How To Get Someone To Kiss You
by NeonGhost8
Summary: Jazz was desperate, desperate enough to search Youtube for advice on his current problem: getting a kiss from prowl.Follow Jazz in his attempts leading up to the glorious moment.
1. Chapter 1

AN/: Here's my first transformers one-shot I've had in my head lately . Jazz x Prowl. I do not own transformers or you tube, I wish I did.. **DONT WE ALL**?! Ahem, enjoy

** ~How to get someone to kiss you~**

** : Is there someone you like, but the person doesn't see you that way or doesn't see you at all? All you need is a plan to get your would-be lover to kiss you….:  
**

Jazz had tried everything that had worked on past mechs. Showing off moves, subtle stroking, the usual devious smile, you name it. As soon as Jazz had seen Prowl get off that ship and walk into the base in the stoic manner that seemed to come natural to him, Jazz had set a challenge for himself. He would be the first bot to get the "Cold-afted" (by a world-renowned reputation) auto-bot to react and show any kind of physical change. While it may sound cruel, Jazz had been lazing around the new autobot base, bored off his aft, desperate for about any kind of entertainment( the video-games had gotten boring once he beat them and Sam hadn't come back from the family "together time" to bring him more.) and as if primus had heard him, Prowl had shown up.

Now, to get such a reaction from said bot, Jazz decided that he didn't need any outrageous, colorful plans. _Noooooo_ , that would ruin the simplicity of using the most basic means of getting a reaction out of any sentient species. The most basic of gestures, almost as old as time itself, understood without words and communicatible even if the receiver didn't speak the same language,

_A kiss._

But what Jazz had failed to realize, was that he didn't know how to get someone as tight-afted as Prowl to kiss him. Everything he had ever known about seducing mechs meant nothing. The accumulated experience of past lovers: nada  
Even though he knew they would not work, just for the hell of it ( and be able to say that he had tried) he put his seducing tactics to work.

First, he had tried to invite Prowl to have some energon with him. Innocent enough, right?  
Prowl had responded with, "No thanks Jazz, I have more reports then I can count to fill out for Prime."  
He had replied back just as innocently.  
Then, Jazz would "_accidentally_" trip, conveniently when Prowl was close to him, always either landing in his arms or once onto his chest (when Prowl had been especially distracted).  
That had only resulted in Prowl politely up-righting him, nodding once in goodbye, then wondering off to where ever he had been headed to originally. Although Jazz had noticed Prowl had been avoiding standing directly in front of him as of late, probably having learned from what had happened. Jazz tried every other tactic he had on Prowl, and it seemed to have only succeeded in annoyed him.

Now, Jazz was desperate and open for any kinds of suggestion or information that might help him. He couldn't go to the other bots on base because he didn't want them knowing particularly about his little game. So one day, while browsing a website on the humans "World Wide Web" called You tube, he had typed in "How to Get Someone to Kiss You." (With a bit of shame but hey, couldn't hurt, right?) . There had been a video that he had been immediately pulled into, for it had gave him step-by-step instructions on how to get ones object of desires to kiss you. He buried the steps deep into his processor, memorized them, and determinably started marching towards Prowls office.

_'Two knocks on his door, easy enough. You can do this..'_ Jazz crossed and uncrossed his arms, waiting for a reply.

"Come in." Was the short and simple reply.

Jazz peeked his head in, before fully entering.

"Please, have a seat Jazz. I was going to comm you anyways. I wanted to talk to you about some tactics. Here, have a seat next to me so you can look at the map also."  
Jazz shuffled to the offered seat, sitting down to where he was purposely facing Prowl. Jazz remembered back to what the video had said he would need:  
'**Time alone with the person'****  
'Romantic atmosphere'  
'Sexually-charged banter'**

'_Ok, at least I have the time alone part down, Now for romantic atmosphere..' _Jazz reassured himself.

As Prowl had started to talk, unaware his attention was not focused on him, Jazz had slowly dimmed the lights at a snail pace. Now it was a little darker, romantic enough.

_'Check._' Jazz smiled to himself, bringing himself from his thoughts only to find Prowls attention had been on him. He had asked a question.

"….Jazz? Were you paying any attention to me?" Prowl asked with a peeved tone.

"I always pay attention to you, prowlie. You're always so patient with me! Don't worry though, I'll come around eventually." Jazz drawled, optics half-lidded, a small smile on his features.

_'Sexually-charged banter..check-a-mundo'_ Jazz smirked.

Prowl scoffed at the nickname Jazz liked to affectionately call him before turning back to the map which had lines drawn all over it's surface, obviously red showing the enemy force while blue represented the ally force.  
"I think we should attack Megatron's forces from the West side of the terrain, and I have mentioned this to Optimus before in the last meeting…..."

Jazz had thought about the part of the video that had said "liquor" (high-grade in their case) was optional but had also warned not to over-due it as apparently, you wanted the desired person relaxed not shit-faced. Jazz was sure of his abilities and was sure that he didn't need high-grade to accomplish his goal. In the back of his processor, he dearly hoped he was right.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: hey, here's the 2nd chapter to this story! And if you were wondering where to find this video, just go to you tube and type in "how to get someone too kiss you" (like my title!) and vuala! Enjoy (though it is funny how they use two girls..:P) enjoy!

**Chapter 2**

**Step 3: Signal your interest with a subtle hands-on approach. Look for opportunities to make physical contact with the object of your affection…:**

Jazz had been fidgeting the last couple of minutes, trying to think of an opportune time to make this "subtle touch" on Prowl without the latter becoming suspicious. Should he do it when Prowl would randomly ask for his opinion and ask for him to draw a line or note, handing him the pin? Maybe hands graze? Fingertips touch? It was times like these he wished he could consult Sideswipe or maybe Sunstreaker on their thoughts on the matter. Then again, He could be a 100% sure that their answers would be less than innocent…ok, that would be a bad idea…

Prowl, seemingly not noticing his comrades dilemma, continued on talking, "And so, maybe I could request Mirage to sneak by the left flank-"

On a seconds thought, Jazz decided to make his move.

"Hey Prowl, did ya' go get a new coat of paint? Use a new type of wax? Cuz' the way the light in this base reflects of your armour, I bet that even Primus is blinded!"

Prowl looked over at him, a questioning look on his face, scrunching it up in a way that Jazz couldn't help but want to take his face in his hands and well, accomplish his goal. Steps be damned, but Jazz knew that Primus rewarded the Patient and he damn well wanted it!

'Blind Primus? Even though this conversation is completely off topic, are you insinuating my paintjob is garish?" Prowl responded in not a necessarily angry tone, just a confused one.

'_Slag!!'_ Jazz immediately went to thinking up a response to make-up for the potential damage.

"No! Not at all man! What I was insinuatin' was that your paintjob was nicely done... despite a few scratches and dents here and there…" Jazz trailed off as he, without thinking, traced a scratch on Prowl's palm.

'_His hands are so big... And strong looking... '_Faintly thinking to himself, Jazz looked up from his inspection only to find Prowl had been following his every movement with an indescribable look in his optics. Jazz gave the innocent look before slowly and (deliberately) pulling his hands back to their place at his side, making sure his fingertips had trailed Prowl's hand and arm making it seem as if he hadn't just consciously done it.

Prowl looked at Jazz before slowly looking back down to the battle plan.

**Step 4: Sprinkle the conversation with tasteful, not crude, sexual innuendos to send the signal that you see the person as more than a friend…:**

"…So, with these plans in mind, we have to decide where to send the special Ops troops." Prowl turned to Jazz.

"Well, me, Sides' and Sunny' could always go through that back path we discovered a few days ago, the one that circles around the mountain side."

Prowl looked thoughtful for a second, considering the plan before responding,

"Wouldn't want to send you on an unknown path and potentially chance you meeting an undeployed enemy force."

Jazz smirked and couldn't help but indulge himself a little, thinking that Prowl was concerned mostly for him.

"Well Prowlie, we've been working _closely _for a while, so I think I can trust you'll keep my _body_ out of harms way. I trust myself in your _capable _hands." Jazz made extra sure to look Prowl in the optics the entire time saying this sentence, hopefully trying to get the sublimed message across.

Prowl looked at Jazz a little longer this time, whether to discern the meaning behind Jazz's words or to think to himself Jazz couldn't tell. Jazz noticed one of Prowl's white hands reached up to toy with the red chevron on his forehead, a nervous habit of his.

Jazz had to smile, that had to be a sign that he was getting through to Prowl!

**Step 5: Begin moving your body closer and closer to the object of your affection. If the person doesn't instinctively move back to restore the distance, you're ready to come in for the kill..:**

With renewed confidence, Jazz leaned in a bit more, scooting his chair closer to Prowls.

"Don't you trust me Prowl?" Jazz pretended to be hurt, pouting a little to add to the affect.

Prowl quickly moved his hand back down before answering. "Of-Of course I trust you. I mean, us Autobots have to stay together, right?"

Jazz smiled softely before answering " Mmmmhmm.."

**Step 6: Focus on the other persons lips and slowly, sensually, bring your lips to theirs..:**

Prowl at this point seemed to get nervous.

"A-And if we didn't stick together and defend the Autobot cause…'

Prowl seemed to trail off as he noticed Jazz's face had become closer, reaching up his white hand yet again to toy with the chevron located on his head.

Jazz's hand reached up almost immediately to catch Prowl's hand on its destination to his forehead. Now they were face to face.

Jazz optic's lowered to Prowl's luscious lips, ripe for the taking, and he was going to be just that picker today.

Prowl seemed to be at a loss for words as Jazz put his lips close to Prowls, to the point where Prowl would feel his lips moving if he talked. _Perfect._

"Mmmm Prowl, you're absolutely right, we would be _nothing_ without each other." With that, Jazz moved his lips the rest of the way_. Slowly_._ Sensually_.

And his lips met with Prowls.

Their lips glided against one another's, Jazz letting one of Prowls hands go in favor of running his fingers down Prowls check, trailing it down his chest, arm, then finally, to rest on his thigh.

Before Jazz fully gave himself to the feel of Prowl's hands running all over his body, he had one last thought

'_Definantly should look up how to French kiss..'_

**Step 7: Keep going, this may be just the beginning of a beautiful friendship..:**

**End.**


	3. Failed attempt1, part 1

A/N: Since I've gotten many reviews requesting I should go into depth about the seducing tactics Jazz used on Prowl I shall do so  so here goes chpt.3!

**Attempt # 1**

*** A week before Jazz accomplished his goal….***

Jazz sat at a table in the rec room, sipping on an energon cube. After making a deal with himself and resolving to kiss Prowl after barely meeting the mech, Jazz had decided to think up a battle plan per say. He had sat in his assigned room, ready to start thinking about said plan. Then he had started to feel restless, so he thought doing a head stand would be a wonderous idea, thinking the energon in his body would rush to his processor and give him thinking power. The only thing it had given him was the power to have a massive headache and feel a bit woozy after. So, he stumbled out of his room to where he was now, sipping on an energon ration and utterly lost as to what to do. Even though Jazz was a usually determined guy, didn't mean he thought things through before he got himself into stuff like this. A minor flaw he'd like to think.

"Ugghh! If I'd known it was going to give me a mind-blowin' processor ache, maybe I wouldn't have decided to do this!!"

Jazz could remember the Autobot scientist, Wheeljack, saying something about how love could make you feel like you were floating amongst the clouds, free as a seeker one moment, then rip the ground from beneath leaving you to wonder what happened and with a sizable headache.

He had just barely met Prowl though!

Wheeljack was a romantic fool anyways.

Jazz huffed and set his head on his hand, going to take a drink of his energon serving before realizing that he'd been so distracted, the cube had been tipped a little too far thus making a nice spill all over his lap.

"_SLAG!!"_

Jazz went to grab a towel only to realize something as he looked at the purple energon. Maybe it was as simple as asking Prowl to have a drink with him!

Jazz started to scrub furiously at the spill, unaware how funny it looked to the smaller humans in the corners of the dining hall that a robot, a male one none the less, was scrubbing at a spot that they considered to be very private. He just wanted to be done with the mess and make a bee-line for Prowl!

Tossing the towel aside, he jumped over the tan colored bench and sprinted for the door only to run into a surprised Sideswipe with a resounding _**'CLANK'**_

"WHOA silver-dude, what's got you going super sonic?" Sideswipe asked while gripping Jazz's arms to steady them both.

Sunstreaker came up behind both Jazz and Sideswipe, pushing rudely on Sideswipe's back.

"HEY 'SIDES! I KNOW YOUR RUSTY BUT WHAT'S THE HOLD U-oh, heya Jazz man!"

Jazz smiled before pulling himself from Sideswipe's grip.

"I-uh- im up to nothin' guys!" Jazz nervously scratched the back of his head, knowing they'd 'sniff' out his lie within seconds.

One thing Jazz hated was that the lambo twins could _always_ tell when he was up to something. Especially when that something was naughty, or would cause higher authority trouble and what he was planning happened to be both. Lucky him, hmm?

As predicted, the mischievous grins grew on their face in record time.

"_Ooooooh _really, Jazz? _Nothing_?" Sideswipe scooted closer to Jazz's side.

"You know how we love _nothing_, Jazzy, Might as well tell us the scoop." Sunstreaker teased in a haughty tone.

Both twins leaned forward towards Jazz, all attention on him and eager to hear whatever was up in Jazz's world, faintly reminding him of the old human females he had observed a couple weeks ago while on a mission and how they loved to gossip. Making a disgusted face at the comparison, Jazz pushed the mechs from in front of him.

"Like I said guys nothin'! If it was important, don't you guys think I would've told you guys already?" Jazz tried to respond with the most convincing tone he had.

The twins looked at each other to decide whether they were convinced.

"I guess..."

"You always do I suppose..."

Jazz smiled,_' Too easy.._'

"Andddd whhoo are my bestest and most handsome bud's in the whole universe?!"

Both twins smiled, playing with their antennae and kicking their feet on the ground in a shy manner not common to them.

"Us…." Sunstreaker ventured.

"WHHHOOOO?? I COULDN'T HEAR YOU!" Jazz was grinning by now.

"US!!" Both twins shouted, smiling widely.

"That's what I thought. Well, im off to go do some…music stuff..." Jazz hurriedly waved before leaving the lambo twins waving at empty space to assume his original (secret) activities in finding Prowl.

Sideswipe turned to smile at Sunstreaker.

"Jazz is such an awesome mech..."

Sunstreaker nodded in agreement before smirking and shoving his brother aside so he could get in front of him in the line.

"_HEY_!! YOU YELLOW SONAVUH-"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jazz, after having ditched the twin auto bots, started to jog until he reached the section in the base which held the office's including the Prime's office. He slowed to a hurried walk as he scanned the signs on the silver wall to his right.

'_Let's see... cleanin' services, office of activities, AH! Head of Security!'_

Jazz smiled before approaching the office, taking note of the boxes that were strewn all over the cement floor. It appeared Prowl was unpacking his things to move in if the amount of the packaging material called 'peanuts' was anything to go by.

But where was the mech himself?

Jazz cautiously walked in, taking a good look of the office from the bottom up until he came to the desk.

There was Prowl's white and black aft hanging out from beneath it.

Curious, Jazz walked to were he was positioned behind Prowl's moving bottom.

"Heya Prowl! Whatcha' doin'?"

Not expecting the sound of Jazz's voice, let alone any other bots voice, Prowl promptly slammed his head on the inside of the desk.

_***WHAM!!***_

"Ughhhh.." Prowl groaned, rubbing his poor head but not moving from beneath the desk, "What I was doing, Jazz, was putting together this desk the human's military had specially made.."

Jazz tilted his head, wondering why Prowl was unpacking his things so early when he must be in need of a good recharge. Instead he was here, bent over and working himself to exhaustion. It's not like Jazz was complaining about the angle though, all the hours of training to be a ninja-bot had paid off, and well…

Jazz couldn't help but smirk deviously, '_nice aft, im not gonna lie..'_

Coming back to his original plan to ask Prowl to have a drink with him, Jazz snapped out of his Prowl-aft-induced fantasy and cleared his throat.

"Sooo… Prowlie..wanna..maybe..grab some energon with me?" Jazz twiddled his fingers in anticipation, more than expecting Prowl to say no.

A few metallic sounding noises were made before Prowl had registered what Jazz had asked.

"Hmm.._I suppose_ I could use a break." Prowl crawled out from his position beneath the desk. While Jazz was a bit regretful to have his new favorite view moved, the sadness was quickly squashed by the excitement of his small success.

Without a second thought, Jazz grabbed Prowl's hand, not stopping to notice Prowl's surprised squeak or the barely noticeable blush on the latter cheeks. He was well on his way to getting that first kiss!

A/N: here's chapter three!! Sry I didn't get to the "date" part ( a date in Jazz's mind, a innocent break in Prowls ) haha sry if Jazz tends to have perverted thoughts but hey, who wouldn't? l besides, that's a little bit of the author shining through ;P next chapter, " simple break gone wrong!"


	4. Failed attempt1, part 2

A/N: Im sooooo sry it's taken me so long to write this chapter! Between trying to get some progress accomplished on these two advertisement boards I was hired to decorate, to working at my mom's work ( one I don't get paid for none the less*grumblegrumble*) im sure as hell busy : ) Just watched true blood btw!! Soo sadddd!! As soon as Eric started begging Godric in Swedish, I actually started to tear up! I liked Godric though…did you notice that the writer had him wearing white, as if trying to relate him to inspirational figures that wore white such as Jesus and Gandhi? Hmmm: P I wrote a journal on my deviant art account on what I thought about Godric's decision to commit suicide…my user is aui-song, look me up if you wish. OK! Enough babbling from me! On to chapter 4!!

**Chapter 4: Break Gone Wrong! Failed attempt # 1 part 2**

After a few minutes trip to the Mess hall, Jazz had successfully dragged Prowl to a table located in the middle of the somewhat massive room.

"Stay right here Prowl! I'll be back before ya' know it!" With barely an answering nod from Prowl, Jazz darted off excitedly to the counter located a little ways to the right of the room.

As Jazz made it up to the black counter and the robot running the bar, he noticed Sunstreaker and Sideswipe sitting on Auto-bot size bar stools (again, curtsey of the military) with bandages wrapped here and there on their bodies. Jazz couldn't help but ask curiously what happened. With a mocking and sulking tone, Sideswipe answered.

"Ah well, if jerk face here hadn't decided he wanted to cut like the loser he is- _***PINCH***_ Damn it 'Sunny! I'm telling the story! Anyways, so we got in a scramble then Ironhide walked in and well…I'm sure you can guess what happened next..."

Jazz turned to Sunstreaker for affirmation on what had happened only to find he was mouthing something.

Jazz sat there, at a loss, looking as Sunstreaker's expression became furious.

With a roll of the optics, Sunstreaker jabbed a finger in his twin brother's direction who at the moment happened to be taking an overly large gulp of energon.

A kick in the shin plates got Sideswipes attention quickly enough.

"_***GARGLE***_ _OK OK_! Well, Ironhide got tired of hearing 'Sunny complain the whole way to the Hatchet's room of torture so he asked Ratchet to disable 'Sunny's Voice box and communications…and well...here he sits, with his aft handed to him." Sideswipe finished with a smirk. Sunstreaker gave him a dirty look before staring at him, as if conveying some sort of message.

Sideswipe turned to Jazz with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Ah! I forget to tell you he can only communicate through me through our bond link so I'll be doing his talking for him until Ratchet's cooled down enough to undo his punishment. Oh and also, he as well as I, wants to know why you have that tight-afted High Security Manager here."

Jazz looked back at the said mech, who was currently buried in reports he had managed to store in a subspace and bring along. Jazz stuttered a few times, trying to think of a believable excuse before finally coming to a choice.

"I was welcoming the mech to the base, ya' know, I'll-buy-ya'-a-drink-to-welcome-you to-a-new-planet kind of welcoming?" Jazz looked between Sideswipe's and Sunstreaker's expressions. Sunstreaker had a devious smirk on his face before turning to his brother, having conveyed what he had to say.

Sideswipe too smirked when he received the message

"Well, 'Sunny says that he's sure that your just "welcoming" the mech not noting that he has a nice aft," Jazz had to blush at that_' He noticed too?!'_,

" -and that he wanted me to ask you if you'd like to participate in a prank of doom."

Jazz looked confused for a moment before repeating

"…Prank...Of doom... Do I dare ask?!"

Sideswipe chuckled

"Well, a little while ago when we walking in here to hide from the rampaging Hatchet, we noticed good 'Ol Ironhide was sitting here sipping some energon. So we came up with an Ultra Awesome Prank of Doom! The robot behind the counter doesn't have a lot of bolts for brains so we just simply "change" Ironhide's regular high-grade to some super high-grade! He'll never know what hit him!" Sideswipe finished with Sunstreaker nodding rapidly next to him in agreement.

Jazz looked back and forth between them before furrowing his brow.

"Well, as long as you guys don't bother me-"Jazz was interrupted when Sideswipe couldn't contain his excitement any longer.

"Ooooo I can't wait! Bartender! Yo!! I'll get two cubes of high-grade!!"

The robot nodded in affirmation before grabbing a cube and putting it under the faucet to fill.

Jazz just had one question that was drifting in his processors, and he was unable to deny wanting to answer it.

"Dudes, Ironhide has won the drinking contests for the past like millennia. I don't think he's exactly going to get drunk off of two measly cubes of high-grade."

Instead of seeing Sideswipe's expression drop, it only rose.

"Ahhh that's what you think! Well, I made up a concoction that intensify's the effect's of high-grade thus, like I said before, making it super high-grade! He'll get hammered in two, maybe three cubes!" both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had a triumphant look their faces as Sunstreaker pulled out a vial of a deep, plum purple substance.

"Oh, and did I mention this stuff is illegal?" While Jazz had the grace to look horrified, the lambo twins only smiled wider to where jazz was sure their face would crack.

As the last bit of their conversation was finished, the high-grade cube was slid to them by the bartender.

Pulling out the vial once again, Sunstreaker poured a couple drops into each drink, watching as the drops dissolved into the fluid easily.

Jazz looked up to the twins, having already moved on in his mind

"Well I'm going to order some regular energon for me and my new friend." Jazz told the robot who nodded and moved off once again to the faucets.

The twins both leaned in towards Jazz with playful expressions.

"Your new _Friend _Jazz-et? Really? 'Cuz it looks like to me that you're only chasing aft again!" Sideswipe said grinning.

As the two regular cubes of energon slid down to the mechs again, Jazz turned to the twins while grabbing for the two cubes.

"Well, just let me know whenever this blows up in your faces!!" Jazz shouted the last part of the sentence out as he walked back towards his table at the center of the room.

As Jazz walked away with the two cubes of "regular" energon, he had not realized that when he had turned to bicker at the twin auto bots, he had accidentally grabbed only one cube of regular energon and one of the twin's specially made "Super" high-grade. Instead, he walked innocently back to the ever hard-working Prowl with a refreshment full of trouble.

Jazz plopped down next to Prowl in the report covered table.

"Ah sorry for the wait Prowler! I just ran into some annoying pests at the bar area." Jazz slid one cube of "regular" energon towards Prowl.

Prowl picked up the cube of energon and hesitated to take a drink.

"I wanted to ask you Jazz, why do you call me by butchered versions of my name instead my full designation?" while the nicknames didn't bother Prowl particularly (having gotten used to the twins) he had sensed a warmer undertone instead of a mocking one whenever Jazz used them.

Jazz looked up at him, then back down at his cube, a little bit embarrassed.

"Well…I like to call people im fond of by nickname's…" Seeing the look on Prowl's face, Jazz quickly recovered." Plus, ya' know, it's just easier…"

Prowl raised an eyebrow ridge at Jazz's body language before bringing the cube up to his lips, not noticing the stronger than usual taste.

----------------#$%#$^%#$^#$^-------------------#$^%#$%^#$^#$%^#-------------

Not more than 10 minutes had passed and Jazz knew something wasn't right.

Prowl having been more "touchy-feely" towards jazz in the aft area had also helped him come to that conclusion.

And one interesting thing he had learned: Prowl was also a lover of afts. How did he know? Prowl had told him himself.

" –And eeeeveryonnee of these mechs in this room think im tight-afted! I say they're just jealous!_***HICCUP* **_Jealous of my nice aft! Yea! I hear what you people talk about!"

Jazz had also learned something else: Prowl was a light-weight. For Primus sake, his cube wasn't even half way empty!

He supposed it was just because it was extra strength which made it all that more potent.

When Jazz had noticed the twins in the corner laughing at him, sitting next to a semi-drunk Ironhide who was also laughing at the embarrassing situation, Jazz decided it was time to escort Prowl to his Office/Room safely.

With a couple minutes trip to Prowls Office made longer by Prowls need to run and also his like to grope Jazz almost making the latter drop him many a times, they had finally made it to the seemingly impossible destination.

Jazz slid the door open and semi-dragged Prowl to his berth and settled him down onto the surface. He went to stand up to leave but Prowl kept his grip on him forcing him to settle onto the berth also.

Prowl continued to talk.

"Dessspite what you think, I don't get a lot of respect around here amongst these..these..Immature brats! It's becaussse im not some no-brained brute! I may not be a-a valiant energon cigar-smoking General or-or a-a envied explorer of worlds! No! I'm proud of what I'am!"

Prowl had a large, goofy grin on his face and Jazz had to stare in wonderment having never seen him smile this much. If Jazz had to tell the truth, Prowl had a very nice, genuine smile. Noticing Prowl was looking at him, waiting for him to ask like an excited child, Jazz smiled.

"And…What would that be?"

Prowl gladly continued on.

"Im!!...Im a holder of the law, of all that isss right!"

Jazz raised his eyebrows as he noticed Prowl adopting a half-lidded, dreamy look and was leaning in towards Jazz's face.

"Anndd… Iam going to kiss you, Jazz."

Jazz was shocked, was it really this _easy_?! Not the one to complain, Jazz too started to lean forward.

Just when Jazz was sure his and Prowl's lips were going to meet in a blissful, sweet kiss, he heard a groan followed by a _***CLUNK***_

Lips still puckered, Jazz cracked an optic open only to find Prowl had passed out on his way to his face onto his lap.

'_**Awww, slag!! I was so close too..'**_

With a regretful groan, Jazz shifted Prowl further into his berth and after deeming Prowl to be in a suitable position, turned off the lights and left to meander his way back to his quarters.

As Jazz walked, or more like dragged, his way to his room he started to feel bad.

'_**How bad is Prowl's system overcharge hangover gonna be?!'**_

With a shudder, He just hoped Prowl didn't remember who made him that way and decide to kill him.

_Attempt # 1_:. . . **FAILED**

A/N: Ughh it's 3 in the morning and I've finally finished this…well, I guess that's what I get for procrastinating! I just hope it's good! And btw, I think this is the longest chapter I've written…hmm did anyone notice that the last scene was inspired by a movie? You can try to guess if you want :D btw I give all credit to the producers and directors of the secret movie :P ( did I need to do that? Lol better safe than not)


	5. Failed attempt 2

A/N: Heya everyone, sorry if the wait for this chapter was a little long but I just finished up the first board of the two for my costumer (she wanted the first one sooner than I was going to be ready to have it ready, so I just worked into the night to finish) but annyyywayyss, just watched the recent true blood episode…I wonder what sookie did to Marianne (sp?)? And I always hate the cliffhangers…beside the point, here's chapter 5!!

**Chapter 5: Failed attempt 2**

Another long day in Jazz's world was about to end as Jazz drummed his finger tips on the table he sat at. Processor-melting meetings such as these took place every week or so where he, being the second in command, made him required to show up at these tedious meetings. Usually, as Redalert or Ironhide would talk Jazz would either drum and tap his fingers in a rhythm that resembled a song, torture the bots next to him (inconspicuously of course) or play "football" with the twins that sat across from him which always ended up with the triangular paper-made football either smacking into an unsuspecting mech's forehead, or it being snatched away by the angry speaker.

While this is what Jazz usually liked to do to ease up the boredom, with the recent events happening in his life, he was eager to get out of there as fast and as painless as he could.

Jazz tuned back into Optimus speaking only to find, to his relief, that he was closing up his speech and effectively the meeting.

"I thank you all for once again attending these vital meetings, and until next time, have a nice week."

As Jazz shot up from his seat and pushed through the grumbling and talking mechs to get to the door ( which wasn't very hard given his size) , he didn't notice Optimus and Ironhide watching him make his hasty exit.

"Have ya' ever seen the guy so eager to get out?" Ironhide grumbled amusedly to Optimus as he slowly approached his side.

Optimus looked over his shoulder at Ironhide with a concerned look on his face before responding.

"Iam not sure I have, but I sense there is more to his behavior for I have been watching him these past couple days, and am not sure what to make of it. What do you think is wrong?"

Ironhide looked back at Optimus with amusement still written on his features and with a smirk, responded.

"Ohh, im sure he's _just_ fine."

~~#$^#&^%&$~~~~~#$%^#^#%&#%&^~~~~~~&^*%^#$%~~~~~~~~~~~$%#^#

After getting out of the crowded hallway, Jazz slowed down. He had always disliked large crowds like that especially when most mech's were larger than him.

As Jazz walked towards his quarters, he cleared his processors and began to ready himself for planning.

'_Well, I've already failed once with the drink idea._' Jazz shuddered at the memory; he was still getting suspicious looks from Prowl and snickers from the twins.

'_Ughh man, think think __**THINK!**__' _Jazz was scrunching his eyebrows in concentration as he subconsciously typed in his code into the lock for his room.

And as he typed the last couple of digits were typed in, Jazz had been following random lines of thoughts when he thought about the greatest schemer the Autobots had ever known,

_Megatron! _

Jazz started to think about how the tyrant liked to draw out his plans with the actual soldiers he was going to use and quite actually had a good hand for art. Jazz couldn't believe he was actually complimenting the demented leader but after having infiltrated an old Decepticon base and having stumbled across some of the Decepticon leader's work, he had to grudgingly admit it was work from the hands of an expert. Which not only made Jazz wonder what the dictator did in his spare time, but if the same thing could possibly help him get some ideas out from his muddled mind.

Walking over to a cabinet where he was sure he kept piles of paper, he removed a couple of sheets, grabbed a pen (once again, a cybertonian sized one. I mean, where did the government get this stuff!?) and walked over to his desk ready to sit down and think.

As his mind started to wonder to when he had seen Prowls aft hanging out from underneath the half-constructed desk, unconsciously he hand started to do the same.

Jazz sighed dreamily and shook himself from the minor daydream before having realized his hand had been moving on its own accord.

Curious, he looked down.

And feel off his chair, squeaking in surprise as he did so.

***CLUNK!***

Hastily pulling himself back up to his fallen chair, Jazz blushed heavily.

Apparently while thinking not so innocent thoughts, he had also drawn the image in his mind.

Lets just say Prowl had kept the position on all fours, minus the armor, plus some very lust-filled expressions, equaling something very erotic.

'_Man, do I have an imagination…' _Jazz, still blushing, grumbled to himself.

'_I wonder if this happens to Megatron.,' _and before he could stop it, his mind brought upon the images of Megatron gazing of into a blank wall with a creepy smile on his face, drawing Optimus with an ecstasy filled expression, clinging to Megatron as they both-

"AAUGHH!"

Jazz thumped his head against the desk.

Why did he allow that to go that far?!

He resisted the urge to claw out his optics as he roughly snatched and crumpled the dirty picture and tossed it into the waste disposal.

Grabbing his paper, he clutched his huge pen in his hand, ready to try once again when there was a knock at his door.

Startled, Jazz cautiously walked to the door and looked at the data screen next to the door which was installed to tell bots who exactly was at their door.

And was surprised, for it was the embarrassing drawing subject himself!

Prowl!

Nervously, Jazz opened the door to Prowl's pristine expression.

"Hello Jazz, I have come to help discuss some battle tactics with you,"'

"O-Of course Prowler! Come on in!"

Jazz shuffled out of Prowls path as the ninja bot gracefully entered and sort of wandered to a random spot, obviously waiting for Jazz to point out a suitable place to seat himself.

Jazz quickly picked up the unasked question and told Prowl to take his seat while he dragged a nearby chair to the opposite side of the desk.

As both made themselves comfortable and set out papers to prepare their discussion, Jazz dropped his pen.

"I'll get that for you." Prowl stopped Jazz from bending over to get his pen and pushed his chair out a bit to reach for the dropped writing utensil.

As he did so, he also noticed a crumpled, lonely looking paper ball that looked like it hadn't quite made it to the bin. Probably from Jazz being hasty about it, it seemed.

Tsking, he picked up the ball and was about to throw it away when he noticed a robot head on a flat corner of the paper ball that stuck out, and that robot looked awfully like him.

Now both curious and suspicious, he uncrumpled the damaged paper ball.

And _gasped_.

Poor Jazz, still waiting for Prowl to rise from his crouched position so they could resume their important meeting when a resounding ***THUMP*** and then the sight of Prowl hastily crawling from beneath his side of the desk, blushing hard with an indescribable expression on his face had Jazz immediately alarmed.

"H-Hey Prowl! What's wrong?! Why are you leaving?!"

Prowl didn't respond as he gathered his papers and quickly made his way to exit Jazz's room.

"We-We will r-resume this l-l-later!"

With that barely stuttered out sentence, Prowl was gone.

Still utterly confused and curious as to what made Prowl leave so suddenly, he walked over to where Prowl was originally sitting and crouched down to see an unfolded piece of damaged looking paper.

Almost instantly recognizing the paper via the dirty drawing, Jazz drew himself back up to normal height

And yelled out his frustration for the base to hear.

**Failed attempt 2:…Failed before it had a chance**


End file.
